A Freak of a Councilman Stops the Cookie Monsters

Stupid Liberal Tricks used to "Warn" Boys Against the Evils of Capitalism

Just when we think we've seem everything a liberal can do to destroy our country, wanna-be Soviet Stormtrooper, New Castle, New York Democrat (of course) Councilman Michael Wolfensohn, comes along to remind us that there is no ENOUGH when it comes to progressive-liberal stupidity.

Thank God for New Castle, New York Democrat (of course) Councilman Michael Wolfensohn. This week, in an incredible display of bravery and foresight, he prevented what could have been a catastrophe and a miscarriage of justice. All Americans owe him a debt of gratitude.

Here's the story.

Last month, two nefarious (snip) 13-year-olds by the sinister names of Andrew and Kevin decided to set up a bake stand selling cupcakes, cookies, brownies, and Rice Krispie treats for a buck a piece in the local park. The first day, the two delinquents pulled in $120. They spent $60 of that cash to buy a cart from Target, allowing them to stock Gatorade and water alongside their smorgasbord of evil desserts.

The capitalist conspiracy was blossoming. In fact, it was beginning to threaten people everywhere with the dark hand of carbohydrates and the dreaded concept of...wait for it...growth!

Fortunately, our intrepid hero Michael Wolfensohn was on the scene. He quickly pulled out his cell phone and called the cops to report the reprobates for operating their cookie stand without a license. The police soon arrived and shut down the dangerous baked goods operation. "All vendors selling on town property have to have a license, whether it's boys selling baked goods or a hot dog vendor," Wolfensohn said proudly afterward while being given the key to the city. (It was actually the Alfred E. Neuman Award for Conspicuous Bravery, but the press must have missed that.)

If it weren't for people like Wolfensohn, the world would be full of entrepreneurial and resourceful children just waiting to get their grubby little hands on our hard-earned cash by selling us goods and services. Wolfensohn didn't just stand up for the Atkins Diet. He stood up against exploitation, Wall Street-style greed, and tax evasion among our youth.

Besides, you never know when one of these nasty kids might decide to start a lemonade stand. The horror! No doubt Wolfensohn soon will be cruising the city in his Segway looking for small children on whom he can call the FDA.

Wolfensohn sure taught these kids their lesson. Now Andrew and Kevin know better than to start businesses without telling Big Brother -- oops, the government -- first. Next time, in fact, Andrew and Kevin won't even bother to start anything -- a typical permit requires a $1-million certificate of insurance and a fee of at least $150 every two hours.

One of the posted comments following this article caught my eye.

Nov 20, 07:14 AM
After WWII, my parents in Poland bought sugar from Russian soldiers' daily ration and produced home-made candies on a stove, wrapping them on a kitchen table. This caused a Soviet officer to come to their home and confiscate the "candy factory" (two pots on a stove) because of this "counterrevolutionary" outrage. This made them decide to escape to the West and settle in New York. Where on earth are these two boys going to escape to?

I keep asking myself this question, Is there no end to how dumb a liberal can behave? None?